Happy Beginning

I had the best weekend!  My amazing in-laws (I LOVE YOU!  I LOVE YOU!  I LOVE YOU!) watched the boys so Nate and I could have a mini-getaway to his work party.  Because he works out of town I have never met most of his co-workers or the friends he's made in San Jose.

We ate (day off vegan month!), we talked, we laughed and we relished our time together.  And, as if that were not enough, this morning we met up with a friend of Nate's who works at the gas station) then had the most amazing breakfast (at Los Gatos Cafe) with Nate's friend (and co-worker) and his incredible girlfriend. I am so happy we went.

Oh, and remember my rejection and dilemma regarding my biological family?  Well, I did something rash.  I was driving home and remembered I needed money for the toll bridge.  Unfortunately I had left my bag in the trunk of the car AND I almost never carry cash so I pulled off the freeway to look for a credit union.  

As I pulled to the side of the road I noticed what city I was in and realized it was the city where my biological grandparents live.  Now, I must admit I have often thought about showing up at there house to say hello.  After the door closed with my biological dad I was trying to figure out a way to at least meet my biological grandparents, even if it was only once but I've always talked myself out of it.  I've opened myself up before and gotten burned (via the phone) I could only imagine the hurt that might come in person.  Would they slam the door on me?   Would they yell at me?  Would they hate me for what I represented?  Anything was possible.

But suddenly here I was.  I'm in the right town.  The kids are taken care of.  I'm dressed up from my day with Nate (doesn't hurt to feel pretty, right?).  This was it.  It was now or never.  I decided if I was close I was going to do it.  I googled the directions and they lived four miles away.  I was sitting four miles away from my biological grandparents.

"I'll just do a drive by."  I thought.  I figured maybe I'd catch a glance of one of them.  

As I drew closer I realized a very uncomfortable, very real possibility.  What if my biological father was over for Sunday dinner?  That could be disastrous... Strangely, I continued to drive...almost compelled to go on.

My heart was pounding as I turned onto their street.  The house was beautiful and I only saw one car in the driveway.  Before I even knew what I was doing I was out of the car and walking up the driveway.  Then I was knocking on the door.  Then the door was opening... 

"Hello?"  asked the handsome older gentleman behind the door.  "Can I help you?"

"Uh,"  I said unsurely.  "Are you Douglas?" I asked my voice quivered uncontrolably.

"I'm A Douglas," the handsome man said with a coy tilt of his head.

"BREATHE!  BREATHE!!!" I reminded myself.  I started to think I might pass out.

"Come in," invited "a" Douglas kindly.

Then I saw his wife.  She came into the room to see who was at the door.  She was tall and thin and lovely.

"Are you okay?"  I think is what she asked.

"Um...I'm doing some family history...uh...and I...uh...I think you are my grandparents," I could feel the tears stinging my eyes.

"Oh, well come sit down," she said.  We sat down in their attractive, tidy front room.

"Now," she said "tell me, why do you think this?"

Did she not believe me?  Did I have the wrong people?  Did they forget I existed? Suddenly I felt very unsure.

"Uh, well, I'm adopted and I've recently contacted my birth mother, Janet."

"Yes," she said with a smile.

"And she told me my biological father was Douglas ****,"  I finished.

Then she took my hand and most of what we said is now blended together.  Thankfully it was all of the kinds of things you wish for.  Lots of love and a kind invitation to be as involved in their lives as I would like.

I am over-the-moon.